The Invisible Husband

As a husband expecting a child, I’ve heard and read lots of warnings that say “Beware, Some Husbands don’t get involved or excited about the pregnancy until the baby comes out.” Something to the effect that we think our wives are bluffing about this “expecting a baby thing” and don’t believe it until we hear crying and swearing insults. The latter coming from the wife in labor, not the baby (although there’s a chance my child will come out yelling obscenities about Philadelphia sports). Well, we do care its just we’re made to feel like outsiders from the get go from THE credible source, the doctor. Yea the doctor who your wife may know for a total of 6 months and is now the most important person in her life. The doctor has now unseated you from the list of things your wife would carry out of a burning house. 1. Kittens 2. doctor, and 3. baby books.

Male or female the doctor has the power to bring you back into the loop with the first ultrasound. Sadly, our female doctor barely looked at me. The first trip to the doctor after the wife successfully urinated on a stick is to have an ultrasound and get general pregnancy info from the doctor. When my wife and I went a couple of weeks ago the ultrasound technician did her thing and barely looked at me. That’s ok; it was a vaginal ultrasound so I’m sure my wife preferred that she pay attention to what she was doing. Me too, I’ll need that back when the baby is done with it. Once that’s taken care of and everything is good (see gummi bear picture to the right), we headed into the doctors room with our list of questions. The doctor goes into the pregnancy process, the details about delivery and timeline…all while looking directly at the wife, barely acknowledging my presence in the room. Granted, woman are very concerned throughout the pregnancy and in need of constant reassurance (a whole other blog topic) that they’re doing ok, eating the right food, getting enough sleep, etc. so I get that. But hey, I’m here too. Look at me? Nothing. Even when I dared to open my mouth and read from the list of questions we prepared the night before, I got shot the same look that Vitto Corelone gave Sonny when he dared to speak about the family business in front of a stranger. Even when offering a handshake she looked perplexed, was she expecting a hug or a slap on the ass? My wife was standing right there, I’ll call her later. No, she just wanted to talk more to the wife and move aside. Might have well said - “thanks for the sperm. please send checks to me for large sums of money at regular intervals over the next couple of months and return on this due date.” So I slithered into the back of the examination room and let the wife finish. I think I may have fallen asleep, not that the doctor would notice.